Sup bitches. Here’s a quick update for Monday morning.
I don’t think there’s much purpose for the first floor of Bagley besides a couple offices, all the mailboxes in the corner room, the lecture hall that seems like it’s only used for VLPA classes for whatever reason, and the room that sells coffee and gluten-free, expensive-as-fuck pastries. How the entire gluten-intolerant population is not bankrupt boggles my mind. However! There is a large and cool mosaic of ancient Egyptians and Greeks using trig and chemistry to solve #ancientworldproblems in the doorway though. The second floor has all the undergrad labs that you hang out in for the intro chem series, so I spend most of my time on the second floor. The third floor has the study center that I believe is an underrated study spot. You go there for one purpose: to slay as many ALEKS problems as possible. This gargantuan task is often compared to Hercules killing Hydra, because even if you manage to knock out a problem set, it two or three harder ones grow back in place. Innumerable Friday nights have been lost due to its 9pm deadline. Rest in peace.
Second floor bathrooms are the most critical ones in Bagley because your labs are anywhere between two to three hours long so you might need to pee pretty badly by the time you’re done. The men’s room is on the other side of the building from all the undergrad labs, so proximity plays a minor role here. It’s usually crowded in Bagley, especially on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays when most, if not all the labs take place. Even on this Monday morning it was still pretty crowded when I went in there to pee.
Given its heavy use, 2nd floor Bagley functions at a high standard. Five urinals with dividers to boot, three stalls, and multiple sinks gives this bathroom a high carrying capacity K, so expect lines to be absent or slightly inconvenient at the worst. The aesthetics, though. Wow. It was just so clean, perhaps because it hasn’t been used that much yet because it’s only Monday morning. Mirrors weren’t that nasty. It has a small ledge under a large mirror (placed to give the illusion of a larger room, no doubt) to put shit on. But note the crown jewel of this particular bathroom: fucking stained wood doors to the stalls. Wow. You really can’t get more sophisticated than that. I almost mistook one of the stalls for the gateway to Valhalla. The only way to improve on that would have been to get Dürer to carve out some Viking battle scenes or a fucking coat of arms on the exterior.
The only downsides to this gem of a bathroom is the paper towel-sink distance, which is quite a ways. This promotes wetter floors from excess dripping of residue, which promotes uncleanliness and is a potential hazard for those that tread without caution. Traffic might be an issue for those that are concerned about privacy. Primarily because of the heavy traffic, Bagley men’s 2nd would be best used for that pee that has been punishing your prostate for all of your chem lab. If you aren’t the shy type, you can use this one for a luxurious poop in stalls with wooden doors. You might get the illusion of traveling back in time to shit in some old Scandinavian castle. Don’t be surprised if you see Beowulf casually walking out of one of the stalls while you’re in there. 4.33 repeating out of 5 valkyries for easily the best bathroom I have reviewed so far.
Edit: Fixed a couple syntax things, as if anyone cares.